I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize