Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
