I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
