xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
