Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
