I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
