Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
