And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well I just put wine in my tea
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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