fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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