the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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