are you still at the devil's house?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
