I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
