Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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