I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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