I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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