look no pants
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize