thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
