Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
