This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
