I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize