You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
