Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
