You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
