Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
