she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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