The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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