Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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