In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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