MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
