i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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