You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
