She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
