Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
