clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
