i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Sacagawea was the original milf.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
