that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
