just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
