You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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