She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
