Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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