I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
