Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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