Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
