would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
