peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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