worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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