he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
