sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
