HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
