Who did Billy Mays play for?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
