He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
