My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
