You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
