I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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