Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize