i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is Oprah even human
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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