is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
