i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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