Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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