just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
