Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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