Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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